Ross Brawn, Strategy King

This year I’ve found an extra way of livening up Formula 1 races, and that’s to watch the race while keeping an eye on Twitter. Far and away the best feed to watch is sniffpetrol (a.k.a Richard Porter, script editor for Top Gear and regular Evo contributor) whose irreverent commentary on the race, drivers and commentators always makes me chuckle.

Ross Brawn

This weekend’s Shanghai GP was a belter, both in terms of race action and also in laughs from @sniffpetrol. A simple comment from Martin Brundle (or was it Crazy Dave, I can’t remember) about Ross Brawn being a ‘great strategist’ led to a flood of great little quotes both from sniff and some of his followers. So if you missed them, here’s a few:

  • sniffpetrol Ross Brawn – great strategist. For example, if he needs to go to IKEA he’ll do it first thing on a Tuesday morning. Clever.
  • sniffpetrol Ross Brawn – great strategist. When he uses the M6 Toll he pays by card. “The queues are always shorter at the card only booths!” he quips.
  • flufftheelder @sniffpetrol Ross Brawn – great strategist. Does his Christmas shopping in January. “I like to beat the last minute rush”
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn often takes Rosberg for dinner, asks for the bill at the end and then nips off to the loo.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn avoids the ‘one kiss or two’ dilemma by giving all female friends and colleagues a firm handshake.
  • DanHasALamb @sniffpetrol Strategy King Ross Brawn tries shoes on in the shop to make sure they fit, then goes home and buys them online for cheaper.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn puts his briefcase by the front door before going to be bed. “Saves me 0.4sec in the morning!” he quips.
  • sniffpetrol Sometimes strategy king Ross Brawn suddenly decides to go to the supermarket at 2am. “You’ve got to grab a window of opportunity!” he quips.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn only takes mints to dinner parties. “Not everyone likes wine, and mints are cheaper!” he quips.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn only charges his mobile phone at work or at friends’ houses.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn only wears trousers with a velcro fly. “It’s noisy, but saves an average 0.3sec per day!” he quips.
  • AGDonovan @sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn uses biros he’s ‘acquired’ from hotels he’s stayed in. “I haven’t paid for a pen since 1992” he quips.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn always takes lots of napkins from his local Costa. “It saves the time and money I’d waste on loo roll!” he quips.
  • sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn always arranges meetings for 12pm. “I can eat the biscuits and then I don’t need lunch!” he quips.
  • Liffonmelsmork @sniffpetrol Strategy king Ross Brawn saves up all his blinks into one big blink at 9pm, to allow three extra seconds of vision at work
  • sniffpetrol Ross Brawn gets salt on fish & chips then scrapes it off into a jar to use on other foods. “Efficient and healthier!” he quips
  • sniffpetrol Ross Brawn turns up at the dentist 45 mins before his appointment so he can catch up on old magazines for free.

If you’re a die-hard Ferrari fan I recommend you don’t follow the Twitter stream. You might not like some of the comments (even though they are hilarious). Otherwise this is a great way to make races even more fun to watch.

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Author: Chris Auty

Voted the Breakthrough Blogger of 2013 by SEAT and the Guild of Motoring Writers , Chris has lived and breathed cars since he was old enough to say 'faster'. With a penchant for hot hatches and an allergy to public transport, he would much prefer to drive a bad car than never drive at all. Fortunately his family has learned to put up with this obsession and the internet has provided a channel for his ramblings.

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