It was another racing episode on Top Gear tonight, this time involving rear-wheel drive cars on ice! We had Jeremy in his Porsche 944 S2, Richard in his Nissan 300ZX and James in his ill-fated Ford Capri 2.8, eventually replaced by a Morris Marina.

As is usual in these racing events the boys were allowed to deck out their cars in a combination of racing gear and decals. Of course, on Top Gear they can’t do anything sensibly so there was a hidden message in each set of decals. Look at the cars and the message will be on the door.

So, for your amusement (in case you missed them) here they are:

Jeremy’s Porsche

Les Bien Hat. A form of headwear for ladies who don’t like men?

Phart Industrie. They must produce noxious gasses.

James’ Marina

Coq Yaourt. Would you like some of James’ Coq yoghurt?

Tit Tree. I wonder what grows on one of those?

Richard’s Datsun

Merde De Fromage. So that would be cheese of poor quality?

Norks. Easy one that, it’s just another term for boobs.

I know, it’s childish, but it got a snigger or two out of me while I was watching it. Not quite as funny as the 24hr race in the BMW that was sponsored by Larsen’s Biscuits and Peniston Oil.

Top Gear 24hr BMW

Who says Top Gear isn’t educational? I’ve just discovered what ‘merde’ means in French and that norks isn’t a British term but actually originated in Australia. You live and learn.