Apparently Suzuki have made a deal to provide their Swift Sport to Mordor. Quite why the forces of the Dark Lord Sauron need a feisty little Japanese hatchback is beyond me, although I suppose they’d be able to outrun the horse-borne Riders of Rohan.

Sauron

Not sure what this chap wants with a Suzuki Swift Sport

The Swift Sport is a big favourite here at Driving Spirit and at £13,749 it’s also one of the most affordable warm hatches you can buy. The 2013 range has been tweaked with a new metallic colour, Boost Blue, to replace the red and a few spec changes, including LED brake light and driver’s window ‘auto up’ (it’s the little things that count).

What’s that? Not Mordor? More doors? Oh, I see. That makes more sense.

Now you can order the Swift Sport as a five-door at an extra cost of £500. That should make it appealing to a much wider audience … dark lords included.