The Department Of Transport has finally acknowledged that, for some drivers, signalling has become an unnecessary distraction while driving.

A premium saloon not using indicators, yesterday
For a long time drivers of certain premium brands have been too busy engaged in other activities to worry about signalling their intentions to other drivers. While use of the flashing orange lights is considered an essential part of the Highway Code, for many drivers this is considerably less important than performing vital business functions while driving to urgent appointments and lunch meetings.
The Department Of Transport will now allow drivers to earn an exemption from this crucial part of road etiquette. Forming a new part of the driving examination, or available to existing drivers as a mini-exam, there will be three tests that must be passed in order to earn the exemption:
- Join a five-minute teleconference with at least three other people while driving. Wild arm gestures are optional, but if the driver looks in any of their mirrors during the teleconference they will fail this part of the test. Use of signals will also be classed as a failure.
- Reprogram their satnav to a destination at least five miles away in the opposite direction while driving along busy dual carriageway. Any instructions given by the satnav must be followed immediately. No signals are permitted when performing sudden and unexpected lane changes, and speed must not drop below 37mph.
- Send and receive at least two text messages while driving through a city centre. A slalom course will be setup to simulate a typical urban environment, with T-junctions and dual carriageway, while random objects thrown into the road will represent pedestrians blindly walking out in front of the car. Speed must not drop below 27mph and signals must not be used at any time.
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It is hoped that these changes to the driving test will enable important businessmen and women to carry on with their jobs unimpeded and allow the economy to be dragged from the gutter. Less important drivers will be expected to continue the use of signals to ensure that, should they be paying attention, the very important exempted drivers will know the intended direction of movement.
However, drivers who have not earned the exemption will still be able to use their hazard warning lights if they are forced to park on double yellow lines. The use of hazards in these cases means it is illegal for traffic wardens to write a ticket for the car, no matter how inconveniently it is parked.
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